Снег, снег, снег
The desire to do work has not waned in me, but the ability
to do it is currently simmering below a desired level. This morning I handed in
15 pages on cognitive behavioral therapy for auditory hallucinations in
schizophrenia (antipsychotics decrease agitation, but often hallucinations
continue: a problem since 60-70% of cases exhibit auditory hallucinations,
mostly voices. I didn’t do much research on the brain this time, since it was
for my clinical class, but the one study that I did look over found changes in
brain activity in the group that went through cognitive behavior therapy. I
always find that this is the easiest way to convince people that it is working,
though the other ten articles I read were also convincing).
Currently, I am at the library, and if I had gotten more sleep perhaps I would be reviewing an article and writing five pages on infant visual synesthesia over the course of development (apparently babies detect motion based on color as well as luminance. This capacity dissipates early in development, quickly deteriorating so that light/dark detection becomes significantly more critical to the detection of movement. The main problem, of course, is that setting up a choice paradigm for babies is hard, and that looking at changes over development that cannot be explained by – well, normal developmental stuff – is its own challenge. I was also excited to see a citation of the professor I’ll continue working with this winter in the paper). The seniors in the psychology department were supposed to do power point presentations of senior projects today, but because of the
Currently, I am at the library, and if I had gotten more sleep perhaps I would be reviewing an article and writing five pages on infant visual synesthesia over the course of development (apparently babies detect motion based on color as well as luminance. This capacity dissipates early in development, quickly deteriorating so that light/dark detection becomes significantly more critical to the detection of movement. The main problem, of course, is that setting up a choice paradigm for babies is hard, and that looking at changes over development that cannot be explained by – well, normal developmental stuff – is its own challenge. I was also excited to see a citation of the professor I’ll continue working with this winter in the paper). The seniors in the psychology department were supposed to do power point presentations of senior projects today, but because of the
Snow, snow, snow
it has been cancelled. But the choir rehearsal for Shubert hasn’t been, and so I’m dawdling. Debating if calling subconscious motivations behind what could be considered as reciprocal altruism, as opposed to ‘true’ altruism, is simply a cynical semantic differentiation, as opposed to a social ‘truth’. The part of me that usually inhibits these thoughts, as well as the part of me that allows me to have gross motor coordination, isn’t working quite as it usually does. The books at the library sit in beautiful rows but the florescent lights are ugly. The exhaustion the punctuates the souls and bodies of college students during finals does not correspond to any romanticized depiction shown in movies. Rather, it is tiresome. “Not sleeping is the worst thing in the world” says Kelsey: they forget fatigue in movies. They forget that once you pull an all-nighter to study for an exam or write an essay, the work is not done. There are more exams, other classes, further work to be done. They also don’t include the exuberance that comes with intellectual pursuit, the surge of adrenaline or endorphines or dopomine or cannabinoids that mitigates the fatigue-induced headache.
it has been cancelled. But the choir rehearsal for Shubert hasn’t been, and so I’m dawdling. Debating if calling subconscious motivations behind what could be considered as reciprocal altruism, as opposed to ‘true’ altruism, is simply a cynical semantic differentiation, as opposed to a social ‘truth’. The part of me that usually inhibits these thoughts, as well as the part of me that allows me to have gross motor coordination, isn’t working quite as it usually does. The books at the library sit in beautiful rows but the florescent lights are ugly. The exhaustion the punctuates the souls and bodies of college students during finals does not correspond to any romanticized depiction shown in movies. Rather, it is tiresome. “Not sleeping is the worst thing in the world” says Kelsey: they forget fatigue in movies. They forget that once you pull an all-nighter to study for an exam or write an essay, the work is not done. There are more exams, other classes, further work to be done. They also don’t include the exuberance that comes with intellectual pursuit, the surge of adrenaline or endorphines or dopomine or cannabinoids that mitigates the fatigue-induced headache.
Ah, choir is canceled as well, and I'm at Hannah's now. The snow on the road has built
up, and I pity those driving low-rise cars in this weather, desperately coming
back from work, reeving desperately against the fricktionless snow, desperate desperate desperate . There is banana bread in the oven.
“TOMORROW'S
SCHEDULE:
3-5PM BACH DRESS REHEARSAL (2:45PM CALL)
5:30-7:30PM SCHUBERT DRESS REHEARSAL (5:00PM CALL)
8PM CONCERT”
3-5PM BACH DRESS REHEARSAL (2:45PM CALL)
5:30-7:30PM SCHUBERT DRESS REHEARSAL (5:00PM CALL)
8PM CONCERT”
brilliant.
Saturday night I was at Hannah’s and it was snowing and we painted our nails and then I painted Will’s nails and then David’s as well. We went wandering into the storm after dinner, watching the flakes sparkle with reflected light, and cars skid dangerously in the road. The street lights are yellow and the world is quietly beautiful.
