out with the old

English under the photo.

У Симы выпал четвертый зуб, ночью пришла зубная фея. Когда я была маленькая, зубная фея не сразу узнала, что она должна существовать. Лето; с Юлькой пошли есть суши, Макс М учил меня играть в сёги (японские шахматы). Посмотрела Казино Ройал с папой.

(Нет! Я в вторую ночь после Мосвкы с трудом заснула. Хрупкая слеза стекла в широты  атлантического океана. Мне приснился сон –

У меня было задание для русского литературного кружка, написать стихотворение. Это можно было делать с друзьями, так что я сидела в парке вмести с Илюшой, Дашой и Андреем, кажется дело было весной, и мы весело работали над этим стихотворение. Что-то остроумное, и еще там было про женщину, которая не могла не есть варение. Сдать надо было не сразу, так что мы его в тот день не доделали. Потом мне позвонила учительница , и оказалось что вокруг незаконченного стихотворение развивается скандал; его прочитали то ли тетушка из класса, то ли матер ученицы, и уже все разболтались; какой позор, такое нельзя , что оно очень жестоко к женщинам. Они его просто не поняли; оно было вполне феминистическое, варение показывала на недостатки общества. Так что мне пришлось идти в парк с Андреем искать бумажки, а там сторож с большим подозрением к нам относился, мне нужно еще было достать мою копию Мастер и Маргарита (он: в 2008 году был новый выпуск я: у меня не эта...хотя, нет! вы правы, у меня новый выпуск...) после чего стала показывать что я там написала в книге и еще Илюша забыл в парке свое пальто и все это лежало в коляске из магазина.

после чего я проснулась, так как у меня очень мерзли ноги.)

 

Sima’s fourth tooth fell out and the tooth fairy came. When I was little, she didn’t know she was supposed to exist, at least not right away. The first week of summer has been spent well; I went out for sushi with Yulka, Max M started teaching me how to play shogi (Japanese chess). Watched Casino Royale (the new one) with Papa - probably not the best James Bond movie to start with.

(No! The second night I was back from Moscow it was hard for me to fall asleep. A fragile tear steeped from the breadth of the Atlantic Ocean. I had a dream—

I had a poetry assignment for a Russian literature class. I could write it with friends, so I was sitting in a park with Eloosha, Dasha and Andrey. It seemed like spring, and so did  our mood. Something witty, something about a woman who could not stop eating jam. I didn’t have to hand it in the next day. Later I got a call from my teacher, and it turned out that a small scandal had developed around the unfinished piece. It had been read by one of the women in class, or a mother of one of the students, and already everyone was gossiping; how horrible, how could one say such things, it's so cruel to women. They simply had not understood; it was quite feminist, the jam was supposed to point to the inadequacies of society. So I had to go back to the park, with Andrey. The guard there was very suspicious of us, I had to pick up the composition, my copy of The Master & Margarita (he said; in 2008 there  was a new edition me: I don’t have that one…wait! You are right, I have the new edition) after which I showed that I had written something in the book and also Eloosha had forgotten his coat at the park and it was all in a shopping cart.

After that I woke up because my feet were freezing.)

End of Winter Break

Bottom Version is in English

На самолете обратно из Мосвкы, на моем месте уже кто-то сидел. Пожилая парочка старалась мне сказать, что они поменялись с мужчиной который седел на два ряда впереди. Я решила им не объяснят, что это не он не мог с ними поменяется моим сидением, и спросила у стюардессы не-ту ли других пустых мест. Пока она проверяла, другой стюард мне предложил шампанское. После этого меня посадили рядом с молчаливым тренера борьбы.
После этого мне стюард предлагал мороженое и еще шампанское.
Он спросил «где ты живешь»
Я ответила «бостоне, учусь в Нью Йорк»
«Это для меня слишком далеко, я живу в Синсинати. Не знаю, может мы придумаем, как сделать что-бы сработало.»
Почему-то после этого, я все равно думала что он голубой. Но когда он решил потрогать мое ухо, я поняла что я не права.Он мне дал косметичку и карточку с телефоном. Нет, Джейсон, нет.
Я долго искала автобус домой, и совсем не ожидала что в Нью Йорке будет минус.
В гостях меня спросили «а там не страшно?» Наверно те, кто иммигрировали сюда более двадцати лет назад, хотят знать что они это сделали не зря. Нет, не зря, я думаю, но не в страхе дело...
Я навестила свою школу, у многих учителей родились дети. Я говорила с учительницей фотографии про то, что не смотря на то что школа считается хорошей, она очень ант-интеллектуальная. И почему люди вступают в брак; вопрос который я обсуждала еще с...пятью люди.
Вот, теперь я дописала, две временные линии слились.

__

On the plane back from Moscow someone was already sitting in my seat. The elderly couple tried telling me that they had switched with the man sitting two rows in front of them. Rather than explaining to them that he couldn't have swapped my seat, I asked the stewardess if there were any empty seats.While she was checking а steward offered me champagne. After that, I was seated next to a silent coach wrestling.After that I was the steward offered ice cream and more champagne.
He asked,
"Where do you live"
 "Boston, studying in New York State"
 "It's too far for me, I live in Cincinnati. I do not know, maybe we'll figure out how to do something to work out."
After that I still thought he was gay. But when he decided to touch my ear, and I realized that I wrong. He gave me a cosmetics bag and his card. No, Jason, no.
watched Brave and Ruby Sparks (movies I was willing to watch on a tiny screen)
I searched for a bus home; I didn't expect it to be below freezing in NYC.
When I went to a party with my family, one of the adults asked "Isn't it scary there?" Perhaps those who have immigrated here over twenty years ago want to know that they did it for a reason. I don't think they did it in vain, but the reason is not fear...
I visited my high school, many teachers just had babies. I talked to my photo teacher about that, despite the fact that the school is considered good, it is very ant-intellectual. And I asked about why do people marry, the question which I had discussed with ... five people over break.

There, now I have finally caught up on writing about the trip, the two timelines have merged.

we'll meet again

dinner at curry house with Shinno and Bianca

I’m back from Bard. Goodbye’s and sweet promises to meet up over the summer. 

Last movies:

1.       大紅燈籠高高掛 (Raise the Red Lantern – Chinese): we watched the first half with Chinese subtitles. Kelsey did most of the translating since she studies it, and Kalena helped with her knowledge of Japanese.  I watched the rest on my own after I found English subs.
2.       Trainspotting!
3.       About a Boy: because we needed to watch something that did not require any thought to process. Finals, after all.
  

Papa picked me up on Monday and we got home at 3am. The next day I drove Mama to the airport (she’s in Moscow now!) and when I came back Yulka had picked up Sima from gymnastics. We sat on my bed listening. Today I picked Sima up from school because he got sick but he’s on the bed next to me reading Calvin & Hobbes now.

A month ago I had a dream that Shinno and I were walking around this red city. Except at some point I realized that, even though we were walking straight, we kept coming across the same guy (someone who goes to Bard) looking through a dumpster. The city was actually one small planet.  The guy was trying to salvage items to sell – I’m not sure to whom, it seemed to be just us three on the planet, even though there were quite a few buildings to live in. When I asked Shinno about the dumpster guy, he said “he finds enough to sell throughout the week, and then on Thursday’s, he’s gone” – meaning that by Thursday he would save up enough money to shoot up on heroin.

 

Apocalypse of Light

 Last night Amanda and I heard clicking, hitting the glass. I opened the window and looked down. “Oh sorry, I was throwing stones at the totally wrong window”. After that we went to the annual surrealist circus show. Hordes of people sat on the grass on the hill sloping down from manor. Our fellow students biked and did contact dancing naked and half-naked to the rhythms of strange music, fiery glows and stories about the Apocalypse of Light.

Today I went to an Orcapelicans concert (Bard a capella group) because Megan and a few seniors I know were singing.  Wednesday Britt came.

A week ago I had a dream I was in the Midwest. I could feel that I was far away from the ocean, I saw a view from a above and suddenly I came down and was in the car with Папа, on the way to pick up my brothers from someone’s house. Then I thought “where is Мама?” and suddenly remembered she was dead. It made me so sad I woke up. But then a few minutes later I was asleep again. I was back in the car, and it happened again. And again.

punk rock prom

Hannah is walking over to watch "A Bit of Fry & Laurie" skits

“at this point it’s just an excuse to hang out” said Shinno, after we spent a couple hours doing work at the Enchanted Café and managed to each read about a page. Tomorrow Bianca is baking carrot cake. Seniors. Thankfully I did just finish reading the Ethics of Ambiguity (Simone de Beauvoir), and can start my essay tomorrow. 

Yesterday Hannah held another reading, themed 'brevity'. Kelsey and I showed up late; everyone was outside. It had just gotten too dark to read, sitting on blankets with books scattered around them in the grass.  After that we headed down to smog for punk rock prom (Kelsey was my date). I like the way the music reverberated through my bones. I liked how the choice was to stand or to mosh. I liked that instead of not being able to hear properly because of my cold, I couldn’t hear properly because of the ringing in my ears. Later, Kelsey and I drank tea and sang to her guitar. 

I had a dream I was in China, working in a little shop. Shinno was working in a little shop across the street. Then I was walking with an architect and we were discussing how the city would work in times of catastrophe, weather a part of the bridge would keep afloat, if it did how many people it would hold, and if it was close enough for people to swim to. Additionally, I was having a hard time walking, as often happens to me in dreams. The explanation for this was that gravity varied depending on the time of day. It was a little after noon, so it was still quite strong. 

Spring Flung

The next weekend was spring fling. During the day we had choral rehearsal. I said to Ben “tomorrow everyone is going to be so hung-over” and then realized I was being naïve, and that people were already drinking during rehearsal.    

That night I drank too much on an empty stomach while coming down with a cold and after having had dizzy spells from low blood pressure all week. Turned out to be a bad idea and I woke up at 5am to the question “do you know where you are” to which I responded “yes” but they told me I was at the hospital anyway. Amanda came with me in the ambulance but I don’t remember. In the morning I had to meet with the Dean of Student Affairs. Bianca came and Shinno too - with pretzels. It was interesting to see how information traveled. Kelsey and Megan didn’t know until I told them.  A whole bunch of people I never talk to asked me how I was doing. Also my friends’ responses reinforced what I already knew about them – some good, some bad. I felt bad for making people worry, either way.

“You sound good, but you look hung-over. Y’all better get over that real quick” said James before the concert that night.

Schaffe in mir - Brahms

Anthony O'Daly - Barber

The Coolin - Barber

Sucepit Israel - Bach

Sicut locutus Est - Bach

Die Mit Tranen - Schutz 

God is our Refuge - Mozart 

Os Iusti - Bruckner 

Psalm - Ives

After that I went out again to the block party and danced with various friend groups. Even though they tried to keep strangers out, there were still quite a few high-schoolers and very grabby 30-somethings there, but otherwise it was fun. Later went with Megan and a couple others down to the waterfall. It was incredibly chill; a bonfire, people talking, the bubbling of the water. I fell asleep at 3am, content.