Dear Reader:
I know I have long been absent. If you have been here in the past I am surprised by you; that my distance has not created an un-passable abyss. I apologize. I thank you. I will try to be better, as many of us try.
Today I woke up in the US again, back in Somerville.
On Sunday, The 4th of this month, I was here as well, packing.
Things I forgot to pack: cold medication, camera battery charger, a warm hat, gloves.
Things I did not forget: all the camping gear, sweaters and warm socks, a camera with low battery.
And so, Matt and I caught a ride to the airport, checked our bags (19.5kg for the heavier one, perfect) and got in line. Matt's carry-on getting slowly examined on the side for unknown reasons and we sprinted through Logan and were the last ones onto the flight.
Things we knew to expect: white nights, gravel roads, sheep, hotsprings
Things we did not know to expect: the wind, getting sick, endless volcano fields
And so starts our trip to Iceland
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Sunday, June 18, 2017
Sunday, October 26, 2014
assorted squash
я: у нас постоянно гниет чеснок.
мама: не постоянно, постоянно значит он не переставая гниет
я: ну, почти
мама: я тебя все ровно люблю, не смотря на то что ты такая ворчливая
eng --
me: our garlic is constantly rotting.
mama: not constantly, for that it would have to rot nonstop
me: well, basically
mama: I love you anyway, even though you are so grumbly
Yesterday we went to a birthday party for s&b, so many people came that the table was in an L shape from the dinning room into the living room, chairs set tightly all around, food a plenty. Guests from here, NYC, LA, Toronto, Tula, St. Petersburg. A boy a year younger than me from Tula asked "What do you think is a good age to get married?"
What a strange question, I thought.
мама: не постоянно, постоянно значит он не переставая гниет
я: ну, почти
мама: я тебя все ровно люблю, не смотря на то что ты такая ворчливая
eng --
me: our garlic is constantly rotting.
mama: not constantly, for that it would have to rot nonstop
me: well, basically
mama: I love you anyway, even though you are so grumbly
***
Yesterday we went to a birthday party for s&b, so many people came that the table was in an L shape from the dinning room into the living room, chairs set tightly all around, food a plenty. Guests from here, NYC, LA, Toronto, Tula, St. Petersburg. A boy a year younger than me from Tula asked "What do you think is a good age to get married?"
What a strange question, I thought.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
goes on
this weekend Hannah came and visited me. I also saw Sam in Boston, soon to leave on his tentatively year-long trip along the coast, on a sailboat he cobbled together himself.
I went to a gallery opening of my photo teacher from highschool, who retired this last year. Her eyes are a sharp blue, and her show was on female beauty and aging (Marky Kauffmann).
Everyone is well.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Tooth Fairy
Sima has a loose tooth. He told me not to tell Mama when it falls out - so that he could check if the tooth-fairy is real.
When I told Mama (in front of him) that he has a loose tooth he squinted at me and smiled distrustingly. The main reason he believes in the tooth-fairy (as he told me a few months ago) is that he always gets a golden dollar coin under his pillow "and nobody has that many dollar coins". Similarly, he still believes in Father Frost (Ded' Moroz) because he got a watch from him last New Years, and Mama and Papa knew that he already had a watch.
I watched the Germany-Argentina game, grow more cynical than ever when I read the news, and met up with Adrienne in Central Square when she visited from Vermont.
When I told Mama (in front of him) that he has a loose tooth he squinted at me and smiled distrustingly. The main reason he believes in the tooth-fairy (as he told me a few months ago) is that he always gets a golden dollar coin under his pillow "and nobody has that many dollar coins". Similarly, he still believes in Father Frost (Ded' Moroz) because he got a watch from him last New Years, and Mama and Papa knew that he already had a watch.
I watched the Germany-Argentina game, grow more cynical than ever when I read the news, and met up with Adrienne in Central Square when she visited from Vermont.
Friday, January 3, 2014
spelling
I've just given both my brothers haircuts. I've spent time with family and seen friend (Annutik is going to India! She just came back from Australia. Everyone else seems to be staying on this continent for the next few months). I'm leaving for NYC tomorrow morning until classes start up again.
My sort of New Years Resolution:
I've attempted to make New Years resolutions before - twice. However, neither of those years ended with me doing the intended split. Mama says Russian's don't make resolutions, and I have a conspiratorial theory that it's a habit brought to culture by capitalist gyms trying to sell memberships (everyone who goes to gyms regularly hates this time of year).
But in spite of my mother, and myself, I've decided that there is something I should work on. Spelling. And what better place to make sure I do this but here? I'm not sure how I've managed all these years - read so many books, written so many papers - without absorbing the proper way to order letters. Most people seem to make adjustments without conscious effort. It's at the point where it looks like I'm making errors in my grammar and pronunciation, particularly in Russian, but in English too. Sure, it's embarrassing. But mostly I want to improve my spelling because I'm vain (vane, vein) and I got two really great compliments on my speech this year. Amanda consistently tells me I speak and write poetically (in English). Kostya told me that sometimes he thinks I'm quoting classical literature, and then realizes that I'm just talking (in Russian). If spelling is blockading my ability to bring poetry to the page, then I should work on it. Right? Of course, I have yet to figure out how I'm going to do this...
My sort of New Years Resolution:
I've attempted to make New Years resolutions before - twice. However, neither of those years ended with me doing the intended split. Mama says Russian's don't make resolutions, and I have a conspiratorial theory that it's a habit brought to culture by capitalist gyms trying to sell memberships (everyone who goes to gyms regularly hates this time of year).
But in spite of my mother, and myself, I've decided that there is something I should work on. Spelling. And what better place to make sure I do this but here? I'm not sure how I've managed all these years - read so many books, written so many papers - without absorbing the proper way to order letters. Most people seem to make adjustments without conscious effort. It's at the point where it looks like I'm making errors in my grammar and pronunciation, particularly in Russian, but in English too. Sure, it's embarrassing. But mostly I want to improve my spelling because I'm vain (vane, vein) and I got two really great compliments on my speech this year. Amanda consistently tells me I speak and write poetically (in English). Kostya told me that sometimes he thinks I'm quoting classical literature, and then realizes that I'm just talking (in Russian). If spelling is blockading my ability to bring poetry to the page, then I should work on it. Right? Of course, I have yet to figure out how I'm going to do this...
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Thanksgivingukkah
I came home to a house full of family and friends and started frying latkes. I was sick but relived to be home. Eventually I told my body to shut up by taking some pseudoephed and proceeded to go to the annual Thanksgiving celebration in Belmont: the night tapered off with Eloosha on keyboard and singing. I stayed up until 5 am and left the next morning by train, where Yosef met me and walked me home in my last few hours before getting picked up by a fellow Bardian to go back again to Bardland.
On Thursday we had a one-day-late Hannukah-end party. I talked to people I don't know there, and later walked happily home, chipping the solidified wax drips off my chanukiah as I went.

On Thursday we had a one-day-late Hannukah-end party. I talked to people I don't know there, and later walked happily home, chipping the solidified wax drips off my chanukiah as I went.

Friday, October 25, 2013
apple butter
I went home on the 11th for October break and went to the ICA museum. The rest of the time I studied for my Cognitive Psychology exam. Studying for psychology exams always feels (for lack of a better word) very 'meta'. For example: attending to information on attention. or trying to memorize details on memory. or being anxious about an exam on anxiety.
Friday the second time I woke up it was 6:30. I got up, burnt an egg for breakfast, and went to wait for the bus, so I could take the train, so I could take the subway, so I could go to CCNY by 11:30 and discuss the logistics and outline of my senior project, which is going to be an offshoot of my summer internship. When I got back to Bard it was 7:30 and the moon was full.
I also went to a small concert with Hannah
Frank Corliss, piano, and Marka Gustavsson, viola, will perform works for viola and piano including Hall Overton's Sonata (1959), Nino Rota's Intermezzo, Christopher Theofanidis Flow, My Tears (1997), and Sonata (1922) by Arnold Bax
on a side note, I figured out how to jar apple butter this month.
Friday the second time I woke up it was 6:30. I got up, burnt an egg for breakfast, and went to wait for the bus, so I could take the train, so I could take the subway, so I could go to CCNY by 11:30 and discuss the logistics and outline of my senior project, which is going to be an offshoot of my summer internship. When I got back to Bard it was 7:30 and the moon was full.
I also went to a small concert with Hannah
Frank Corliss, piano, and Marka Gustavsson, viola, will perform works for viola and piano including Hall Overton's Sonata (1959), Nino Rota's Intermezzo, Christopher Theofanidis Flow, My Tears (1997), and Sonata (1922) by Arnold Bax
on a side note, I figured out how to jar apple butter this month.
Friday, September 6, 2013
buy sugar
The morning that I left for Bard, Mama told me that I look like an Urban
Outfitters model. Sima asked me what I was going to do after college
and Потемкин tried to get attention but a belly rub was an unrealistic
dream. Yosef promised to try to call me more, as he does every year (and
we did talk for almost an hour last night). I got salt&vinegar
chips at the rest stop and Papa got tea.
![]() | |
| the kitchen in this house is quite nice. we don't really socialize & we have a similar level of expected cleanliness. functional. the fact that I do not have any sugar, however, is not. |
Rosh Hashanah is always a bit lukewarm at Bard (the undercooked tilapia, the doughy challah, the one bottle of saccharine Manischewitz for each table of ten) but Le'shana Tova. Yesterday I joined the tennis team, though I can only make it to 3/5 practices a week and have to miss some of the meets.
Friday, August 30, 2013
packing
I'm packing.
or
I ought to be packing.
Today and yesterday I collected items found on craigslist: a bed frame with a mattress and spring box (free), a small wooden table and chair (30$), a garment rack because I won't have a closet (5$).

I have packed
I have yet to pack
or
I ought to be packing.
Today and yesterday I collected items found on craigslist: a bed frame with a mattress and spring box (free), a small wooden table and chair (30$), a garment rack because I won't have a closet (5$).

I have packed
- all the kitchen things
- some of my cloths
- bathroom things
I have yet to pack
- the rest of my cloths (I sorted through some of my stuff my parents stuck in the basement. Most of it was useful, but I also found a toy I started making a few years ago, half stitched and half held with pins. It has been like that for years. headless.)
- shoes, belts, jewelry
- art supplies
- writing/reading (paper, pens, stamps, books. I tried meeting up with Leonid by MIT but our plans fell through twice. It occurred to me that we haven't had a real conversation face to face since two thanksgivings ago, but have kept up purely through letters. Freshman year he wrote with a typewriter, but now he uses a fountain pen.)
- miscellaneous (sewing kit, flashlight, alarm clock ect.)
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
dyed dress
I started looking for housing at the start of the year, but bad luck seemed to want to be my friend. He followed me around, staying loyal as one person after another turned out to be unreliable. I finally shook him off Saturday - with just a week to move-in day. Hopefully he got the hint and won't be dropping by any time soon.
From what I've observed from afar (Bard is small, I've seen them before) - they are a very touchy-feely couple. They have a fondue pot and a waffle maker. Zoe wrote to me "There is also a small room off of the living room, which we are designating studio/creative space. You are free to utilize it for artsy things."Jono graduated last year with a chemistry degree and wants to become a nurse, but is currently working in one of the Bard offices.
Yesterday, Yulka and I went to Watch City Brewery in Waltham. A year ago we went to the microbrewery and got food. The fare was good, but it demanded beer, so we decided we would go there again once we were legal. (check)
From what I've observed from afar (Bard is small, I've seen them before) - they are a very touchy-feely couple. They have a fondue pot and a waffle maker. Zoe wrote to me "There is also a small room off of the living room, which we are designating studio/creative space. You are free to utilize it for artsy things."Jono graduated last year with a chemistry degree and wants to become a nurse, but is currently working in one of the Bard offices.
I've been going to Walden Pond a lot, and finished reading Everything is Illuminated.
Yesterday, Yulka and I went to Watch City Brewery in Waltham. A year ago we went to the microbrewery and got food. The fare was good, but it demanded beer, so we decided we would go there again once we were legal. (check)
Friday, August 9, 2013
delusions of hope
Picked up Osya and Papa at the airport a couple days ago,
and am continuing my Fitzgerald binge*. Mama and I went to see The Great Gatsby
last night.
before leaving the theater, I accidentally went to the men’s bathroom. I had to wait for someone to stop using the urinal before escaping from the stall; he didn’t wash his hands.
* 'The Jelly-Bean, ' 'The Camel's Back, ' 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, ' 'Tarquin of Cheapside, ' 'O Russet Witch!, ' 'The Less of Happiness, ' 'The Adjuster, ' 'Hot and Cold Blood, ' and 'Gretchen's Forty Winks.'
before leaving the theater, I accidentally went to the men’s bathroom. I had to wait for someone to stop using the urinal before escaping from the stall; he didn’t wash his hands.
* 'The Jelly-Bean, ' 'The Camel's Back, ' 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, ' 'Tarquin of Cheapside, ' 'O Russet Witch!, ' 'The Less of Happiness, ' 'The Adjuster, ' 'Hot and Cold Blood, ' and 'Gretchen's Forty Winks.'
leaving tomorrow to go camping.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
we'll meet again
![]() |
| dinner at curry house with Shinno and Bianca |
Last movies:
1.
大紅燈籠高高掛 (Raise the Red Lantern – Chinese): we watched the first half with
Chinese subtitles. Kelsey did most of the translating since she studies it, and
Kalena helped with her knowledge of Japanese. I watched the rest on my own after I found
English subs. 2. Trainspotting!
3. About a Boy: because we needed to watch something that did not require any thought to process. Finals, after all.
Papa picked me up on Monday and we got home
at 3am. The next day I drove Mama to the airport (she’s in Moscow now!) and
when I came back Yulka had picked up Sima from gymnastics. We sat on my bed
listening. Today
I picked Sima up from school because he got sick but he’s on the bed next to me
reading Calvin & Hobbes now.
A month ago
I had a dream that Shinno and I were walking around this red city. Except at
some point I realized that, even though we were walking straight, we kept
coming across the same guy (someone who goes to Bard) looking through a
dumpster. The city was actually one small planet. The guy was trying to salvage items to sell –
I’m not sure to whom, it seemed to be just us three on the planet, even though there were
quite a few buildings to live in. When I asked Shinno about the dumpster guy,
he said “he finds enough to sell throughout the week, and then on Thursday’s,
he’s gone” – meaning that by Thursday he would save up enough money to shoot up
on heroin.
Monday, April 8, 2013
umbrella
русский внизу.
The first day I came back at Bard, Shinno and I went to a Tastebudds, and then to a store where they sell the old stuff ... not
really an antique store, but also not a thrift shop (on the way to Hannaford’s,
most of the stuff is outside). He bought an umbrella
with holes and a wooden handle in the shape of a dog's head. He said he had dreamt
of it.
Over spring break, Yosef brought
up coconut cake; the fact that I’ve made it, and the fact that he wants it. I
think I’ve only made it once a few years ago, but right now, listening to an
album by a band I have never listened to before (The Devil’s Walk, Apparat)… I remembered that he is so bony it hurts when he sits on me.
That when he hugs me my arms are above his but that he is growing and so this
will change. That we still have to watch Argo and that he wants us to make
coconut cake.
This Thursday, looking for an apartment
to rent in Red Hook for next year, I caught myself saying “my parent’s house”
to the (potential) landlord. I don’t have a room there, the things I don’t
bring with me (books, camping cloths, bits of paper I have horded, paintings
and letters) are kept partially in my brother’s room, partially in plastic bins
in the basement. There is no certainty in that I will move out after I graduate
(the economy, the new generation of twenty-something’s living with their
parents) but right now I will not entertain the thought of the possibility of
such stagnant prospects. Today I woke up at 6:30, two hours later I called two
more realtors.
Last Friday Hannah and I went to
a concert – mostly poems set to music, with faculty and students from Bard and
the Longy School of Music which Bard recently…acquired? They started with
period music; oboes have changed so much.
(Rufus Muller –
tenor, Stephen Hammer – oboe, Libor Dudas – harpsichord organ piano, Stanley
Moore – violoncello).
Saturday
there was a glorious bonfire.
В первый день как я вернулась в Бард мы с Шинно
пошли в кафе, а потом в магазин где продают старое барахло...не то-что все
антикварное но одежду там тоже не продают. Он купил зонтик с дырками и
деревянной ручкой в форме собачей головы. Сказал что он ему приснился.
В весенние каникулы, Ося упомянул кокосового торт
– и то что я его умею печь, и то что он его хочет. Я кажется его испекла только
один раз, и то несколько лет назад, но сейчас, слушая альбом группы который я
никогда не слушала... Я вспомнил, что он такой худой что больно, когда он сидит
на мне. Что, когда он мы обнимаемся, мои руки сверху его рук, но что он растет
и это изменится. То, что мы все все еще не посмотрели Argo и что он хочет чтобы
мы испекли кокосового торт.
Я ищу квартиру на следующий год, и когда я
разговаривала с владельцем дома, сказала "дом моих родителей". У них
у меня нет комнаты. То что я не привезла с собой (книги, одежду для похода, записки,
картины и письма) хранятся частично в комнате моего брата, и частично в
пластиковых коробках в подвале . У меня нету уверенности в том, что когда я
закончу колледж я смогу переехать (экономика, новое поколение двадцатилетних
людей живущих с родителями), но прямо сейчас я не буду думать об этом. Сегодня
я проснулся в 6:30, через два часа я позвонила еще двум риелторам.
В пятницу я с Ханной сходила на музыкальный концерт. В субботу кто-то
устроил распрекрасный костер.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Thanksgiving 2012
I have a lot of writing backlogged, so I guess I’ll go with chronology.
Jack drove me and a boy from Nepal I had never met before
home for Thanksgiving on Tuesday night. The boy thought language was the root
of all social ills (as in; the origin of language, the fact that language exists). The
next day Mama and I spent cooking. The feast day was spent with Inka&co. We played mafia before dessert.
It’s something I’ve
been thinking about. When my parents came to the US, they didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving
much (if at all). The reason Thanksgiving was popularized in the U.S. has very little to do with any origin
story everyone is told in school. Rather the point was to have an origin story
to bring people together; people from all over the world. It works.
Like any other year, I went over to Eloosha’s house. There
was the Evening of Creativity (творческий вечер), that
went until one or two in the morning. After that, ten of us (the university
students, that’s what they call our generation) went to hang out with some
other people our age in another house. We sang.
It’s interesting, from
an anthropological perspective, how we act. Everyone sings, that’s true across
all ages. But the students, when together, cease to have the concept of
personal space. This isn’t just my friends. It’s other people who grew up in
the USA but have Russian roots. I have no way of explaining this; it’s not a
Russian thing or an American thing, and it happens very quickly.
We played laser tag. It was my first time, and I think part
of what made it wonderful was that everyone went, ages ten to fifty, more or
less. At some point, I asked the generation below us what they though of us. Everyone is very opinionated, but I'm not sure the adults realized that they are not the only ones, and decided not to fall into that trap. But Anya and Etya said that they think we are just really cool, so score.
Before I left, Myron and I realized that Kirill didn’t know what coke and mentos could do together, and decided to right this wrong.
Before I left, Myron and I realized that Kirill didn’t know what coke and mentos could do together, and decided to right this wrong.
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