undergraduated

• when we were packing up my room, Papa stepped on a party popper. A little of the curled up confetti tumbled out, and I put it in the trash bin with other scraps of forgettable memories.
• after the ceremony there was a bbq at Blithewood. The sky was the clearest I've ever seen it. Looking at the river and the mountains beyond felt like looking through a stereoscope: everything was too three dimensional, each plane flattening in the saturation of detail. A little after nine, the fireworks started. We lay on a blanket, the dragon spirits flickering overhead. With each explosion came a delayed sound, which in turn rolled up against the Catskills and echoed over the Hudson river and back into the valley. I remembered that my first memory was from not wanting to fall asleep while watching the fourth of July fireworks at Brandeis (I was two)
• the robes are made of 100% polyester. I saw people that I thought had graduated, or dropped out - but no, there they were, lining up for the procession, sitting through Nancy Pelosi's campaign speech, shaking president Botstein's hand and receiving their diploma. Walking out and trying to find relatives and friends.Taking photos, smiling.
• I didn't get to say good bye to everyone. I bumped into Shinno and Ben there, (Shinno's going to Pratt!) and met Kelsey's brother. Sorrel Kelsey Hannah and I went to a bon fire at the community garden. When we arrived it was filled with alums and everyone seemed content and happier than we are now, and I chatted with some '09-er for a bit and Jo and others came. We waited for the shuttle which was an hour late, with Jack and Will and Steven and Jeff. Those were the partings. 
• there are other endings. 

dual degree

At the end of last month, my housemate Jono said that they needed some more people to work at an event, and that I should come by and possibly get paid. Partially what reeled me in was that the even was a conference for dual degree programs between American Universities and Russian ones. There were 14 pairings in total, not all accredited and/fully running, but most of them were.  Bard is with Smolny in St. Petersburg.  Many of the institutions I had never heard of, but some are well known, such as Moscow State University, and The Higher School of Economics). Some pairings other pairings were lost on me – Astrakhan State University with Clark University, Irkutsk State University and University of Maryland University College, Omsk State University and SUNY Broome Community College, Tomsky State University of Control Systems and Radio electronics and SUNY Empire State College, Skoltech and MIT. So many different levels of jetlag were represented at the conference, I can say that. There were ear pieces for people to listen to the translators, who sat in a booth in the corner – two aging Russian immigrants.

There are many problems in these programs, and I suppose that’s the point of having a conference, but one of the main issues is that though the duel program is aimed at both Americans and Russians, almost exclusively the result has been Russians with dual degrees. And the difference is staggering, proportions of American to Russian graduates in programs look like this – 0:200, 0:527, 0:795, 2:1090. And of the handful currently enrolled, it sounded like they were like me – ‘heritage’ speakers. One of the supposed problems is that not enough Americans know Russian. But really, it’s probably a question of economics: why would an American want to learn Russian? The only people I know that try to do it because they are interested in Russian culture and literature, but those are not good motivators to get large numbers of Americans through the door. And anyway, none of the duel-degree programs are for ‘Russian studies’ – many of for technology or economics.  This is not true for, say, China, which is both sending students abroad, and educating foreigners. Regardless, this meant that when I did end up talking to the representatives there I got a lot of (joking in Russian) “So I assume you’re from Russia”, making a joke at how obvious it is that I am from Russia, which made my refutation of that ‘fact’ all the sweeter.

Bard 'распушил хвост' or ‘fluffed its feathers’ for the occasion, so I got to see it as I had never before. The very fact that it was inside Blithewood Manor was a revelation to me. I had never expected to set foot inside the building, and in fact when I was told go to Blithewood I dressed warmly, assuming that the event was outside. I treated the mansion as if it was filled with cement, impenetrable though present. They then took us to the Fischer Center were wine and sushi and baked brie was served, before returning to Blithwood. The part of the mansion that I was in is usually closed off even to the Masters Economics students (who usually use it) due to the art collection stored there. The will required security guards or something along those lines, and though I understand nothing about furniture, I did find Egon Schiele paintings. After that dinner was served and I came the next morning to work before they all left for NYC to continue the conference.

french toast

A German a Japanese and a Russian-Jew are eating french toast.
It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke.
Bianca said she would visit me as soon as she got a job. She has a part-time unpaid internship showing art in NYC. Close enough. She came on Saturday. We walked by Blithewood and the waterfall, enjoying the sudden onset of autumn. In the evening we went to Christo's sisters band Tinmouth at smog. At some point we had texted Shinno telling him to come join us. He showed up on Sunday and Monday morning we ate french toast.

I received some advice about The Future. Bianca was an art history major. She's planning on going to Vienna for a year come December and then grad school for geospacial analysis. Shinno was a psychology major. He's planning on grad school and deciding somewhere between design and fashion and making sure to not get deported - he's on an extended student visa, but he's lived here since he was ten.

They both left Monday evening. I was just sweeping the floors and stairs (on my chore rotation) listening to Built to Spill.

Second Symphony

I’ve been doing ‘movie screenings’ in my room; we drink tea and eat chocolate and watch movies. I started two weeks before spring break.

So far we have watched:

1. The Crying Game
2. En Kongelig Affære (A Royal Affair, Danish)
3. Les Enfants du Paradis (Children of Paradise, French) – Garance! Eloosha, you were right, this movie is amazing.
4. Beginners
5. The Big Labowski – Over lunch, I told Kelsey that I keep seeing boys walking in twos, confiding in each other in their girl problems. “it’s spring” she said. She did yoga on my dorm that night, and tried to read Plato’s Ions out loud while I cleaned my room but we got sidetracked by synesthesia and Spanish poetry.
   At lunch the next day, Dean and I met a graduate student who works for a non-profit specializing in doomsday prevention. From Blithewood I could watch rain fall over the Catskills, and clouds streamed with tails overhead; rivets flowing into each other made me know that I was breathing underwater, looking up towards where the liquid meets the air.
6. An Education--Tonight I sang Mahler’s Second Symphony, yesterday we did too. Hannah came the first time and liked it so much she tried to come again. I missed the last TBL episode of the season but here are last episodes recording and photos. Today I made my first U.S. alcohol purchase (wine and rum for sangria). The lady gave me a tootsie roll pop; they keep them for people who just had their 21st birthday. The man in line behind me stank of drink. 

   

   Mama sent me roses and other gifts in the mail

   
   
   

 

blood and flour

русский внизу
Me, walking away after talking to Shinno;
Arianna: can I ask you a kinda awkward question?
Me: okay?
Arianna: was that just a drug purchase I observed?
Me: no, it was a fist bump.

Spring! The geese are flying to us, the spring peepers are shrill, crocuses are blooming and students are coming out from their dark rooms to lie on the grass. I even had two classes outside this week.

Sunday I went to Blithewood. Penny and Kalena were celebrating their 22nd birthday (scones, shortbread, lemon curd, clotted cream, iced tea…) Yesterday I had dinner at Jack’s co-op. Dinner conversation touched on two former residents that were on a raw-food diet. They said that there is nothing like the buzz you get from drinking cow’s blood. But cow’s blood doesn’t have any fiber, so I guess you would have to eat coconut flour along with it. One boy was at the last of the weed he had grown last year, another was a  very proud 6’7’’ half Dutch guy, the third man is a chef at Mercota’s, and a girl who was upset that Mexico had changed time zones because she has some boy in Mexico. There were two more people I didn’t meet: a regular Bard student, and a man who, 30 years later, is finally finishing his degree. The chef had a friend over. "Have you ever noticed how whenever there is a really attractive girl, there's like a cloud of men around her" he said to the chef as he poured beer into wine glasses.



 --

Весна! Гуси к нам летят, лягушки квакают, крокусы цветут и студенты вылезают из своих темных комнат на травке положит. У меня на этой недели даже два урока повадили на улицы.

В воскресенье я пошла в Blithwood; Пенни и Калина отмечали 22рой год. Вчера я была у Джака в кооперативе где он живет. Разговоры за обеденном столом (с другими людьми в доме) были о том что тут раньше жила парочка которая была на 'сырой диете', и они говорили что пит кровь коров сногсшибательно. Но в крови нету клетчатки, так-что надо наверно к этому кокосовою муку. Один мальчик вырастил свою анашу, другой на половину голландец и очень горд своим ростом, третий повар в хорошим ресторане, и девочка которая расстраивалась что в Мексике время сменилось, и она не смогла поговорит с мальчиком там. Тут живет еще один студент, и мужчина, который 30 спустя заканчивает свой диплом.

so far

The weekend isn't even over yet but already so much seems to have happened. Excuse me as I rant, as per usual.

Thursday there was a back and forth (walking to Shivi's dorm, dropping off Britt's car by Robbins, then speeding off to Clea's off campus...and then driving back to campus to take the shuttle to The Swan. probably the least efficient way of doing all this.) Clea and Britt started the year going there every Thursday so they were trying to start it up again.
This was my first time at The Swan, its small, dark, wooden, and lively, especially since it was a Thursday night, and there were a ton of people from campus. There was live music (Bard students) which was nice, and I bumped into Kalena and Page and co. because it was Kalena's 21st birthday.
We left pretty early, at 12:30 on the shuttle from Tiv.

Next morning...gym (first time this year because I'm lazy and still scared of that place), nap, hung out with Ari for a good portion of the day. We had dinner and then stopped by Farm Fest briefly (fundraising to make a farm program at Bard or have a farm or both or something) went to Blithewood and further down to the Hudson River. It was so warm and we stayed for a while, though we left once the mosquitoes started coming out and dropped by Spruce because Anna had made food (we just had apple cider) before we parted ways.
At which point Britt dressed me up in 70's attire and I went to a film shoot that...was set in the 70's.
I think we have to shoot again after break, I'm just in the background fake dancing and talking to people and trying to pretend that there is music on. Bell bottom jeans and a vintage shirt.
Went back to...The moderation show for studio arts, which made me feel better about next semester when I will be doing the same thing. There was some really amazing stuff, a lot of diversity in the work, and a lot of people went to see it.
then...Ruger (an old toaster) and tried to watch Heathers (yes, again) with Britt and Clea but on youtube so it kind of failed, and then went to the Farm Fest, were I just watched people dance crazy and live music and guys tying and retying their towels from being in the giant inflatable pool.

and I just spent a good chunk of time talking to Amanda: it was one of those really good intense conversations, where a lot is communicated, which is why I'm putting it down as an event.

pizza 319

Security guard walks in to a room at the RKC were Hannah and I are working, helping a girl look for her wallet, tells her that it's probably good idea to cancel her card and then

"Go ahead 319, talk"

"Well, if I were you 319, I wouldn’t even talk, you are the last person on this planet that would even..." (door closes)

also we made about 8 or 9 pizzas in the last two days, from scratch, partially because Jeff's birthday is the only one that doesn't land on the school calendar, so he was complaining about it.

The Sparrows played at Blithewood today, and I really liked it. I don't usually like folk, but I think that live it is quite enjoyable :).

sun setting on this year

Highlight of the day: sending Cat the text "I see you" while standing on the outside side of the window from were she works in the RKC (the science building). totally worth her facial expression.

Photos are from last Thursday, Adrienne's birthday (though it's not her in the picture, this is Cat). We went to Blithewood to watch the sun set.

Today was room draw. In the Bard system, Juniors go first, sophomores 2nd, freshman 3rd. Within each grade we get randomly assigned numbers. If you have a roommate you go by the smaller number of the two (I got 208 so we went by that). We all go to the gym and sit around and wait for our set of numbers to be called, hope the nicer rooms aren't crossed off as taken. It sucks if both you and your roommate get a bad draw though (Cat got pretty shafted...the people right behind her got put on the wait list for rooms)

Adrienne and I are going to be in Village A next year, which is 24 hour quite and alcohol free (last village dorm left), so we had to sign an extra agreement. [But those things mean nothing...Tewksbury is alcohol free too, in theory (not at all in practice), as are many others.]

It was kinda cute watching people paired off with their roommates, many people changed obviously. There were some surprises, but yeah. :)

It stopped raining

It has been raining for days. raining and misting and mist-raining. now the birds are chirping.

on 4/20 Sam asked Rosette and me if there was any reason there were so many people in the woods. (people slinking away from the the green of Blithewood to smoke because the grass was wet)

also you know what's filling? carbs. like bread. replacement for passover? milk. no chance I'm getting osteoporosis now.


Just came back from a meeting with my adviser, because we have to sign up for courses soon. He's going on sabbatical so I have to switch for next semester.

part of choosing classes is looking up the teachers.
some teachers have reviews like this:

"Bradford Morrow is such a pompous, condesceding jerk. He has the potential to be a great teacher, since he's intelligent and eloquent---but unfortunately for all of us who made the mistake of taking his class, his arrogance transcends his brilliance. Get the reading list and read the books on your own."

and this

"oh god. brad morrow. i didn't think it was possible to name-drop consistently for three hours each monday, but brad found a way to do it. hey, if i had met cormac mccarthy in a parking garage once, i might name-drop too. forget about the actual class material!"

So I guess I'm not taking "New Directions in Contemporary Fiction". Thankfully he's only teaching that one class, and quite a few of the other teachers I looked up were listed either as "hidden gems" or otherwise brilliant.

Rain Reins

So much happened considering I did
nothing. I have to write about listening for creative nonfiction. I've been doing so with time stamps.

("5:40pm

The way the water lands on the outside windowsill it sounds like tennis balls, exploding.
There is a click click click as I type. On occasion my nail will make a sound as it slips against the plastic of the key. The heater, is, as usual, humming. It’s not very pleasant. It feels like the buzzing is inside my head, paired with the stomach-grumble of the refrigerator. The wind beats the rain against the trees, the cars swoosh through the puddles, making waves fall. People walk past. Their footsteps are silent, but sometimes they talk loudly, and I can hear them up here.

Last night, at about 4am I noticed flashes of light landing on my closet, coming through the window. There was no ambulance, no air raid siren, just white light sparking off; no thunder either. I joined Will at the window, in time to see one of the streakers covering her butt, the laughter of freedom escaping her lips, the paparazzi flashes silent.

Someone just yawned really loudly below. And again, this time it ends almost like a human howl, from the depths of his lungs.")

Sam and I went off into the fog today. The snow that is shown in the first photo is now gone, given in to March showers. It's weird to see the green grass underneath. Also, it is very muddy.

And the ceiling in the bathroom is leaking. Rosette put a tupperware to catch the water, I put in a service request.

("11:11

The water drips from the ceiling into the Tupperware four times a minute. It makes a hard noise, hitting the plastic after accelerating for seven feet.")

Rosette's bff Colin came down to visit so I ran around with my camera a lot. We made gnocchi from scratch on...friday? And I think the only reason I got up in the morning on Saturday was because Margaret made me an omelet. And then Rosette and Colin made banana chocolate pancakes.

So we showed him around; Blithewood, the waterfall, some of the buildings, the Root Cellar (which I hadn't been in before, and which is dirty), and the free store, where Adrienne found a large yellow dress, which I went back with Susa and Hannah to get (and try on pants). It has 10 layers, and we plan on making a play called "The Princess of the Peeps", staring Susa, and the rest of us will dress up as peeps. Somehow. The size is made for a person that's a 20 DD, not for a human. A bag with extra sequins was still attached, so it probably had been worn once or twice, most likely as drag. She was eating frosting leftover from birthday cake. Susa thinks there should be a destruction scene in the play, where she twirls around like a hurricane.

Also went to Redhook with Margaret, Cat and Hannah. Got the most mundane things; cotton balls, toothpaste, thumbtacks. Went to Tastebuds, drank Hannah's refill of coffee, mooched on Margaret's giant cookie. Colin and Rosette arrived on the shuttle as we were leaving. And then he left around 9 this morning. After I had already showered, before I went back to sleep again.

watched the first four episodes of "Bored to Death" on the projector Marty, who sprained his ankle playing Frisbee, brought. Jennifer came over too, this was before Colin left, this was last night.

sorry that the colors are so off on some of the photos.

Okay, now I really need to go read Nietzsche