smork

smork is a word Kostya and Eloosha came up with to say 'blow your nose' from the Russian word сморкаться - smorkatsya. I have a cold

Léon: The Professional (1994 French in English) – I wanted something faster passed but got a cold instead. Tonight I had a dinner for four instead of going to a party of I-didn’t-find-out-how-many.  

The first TBL recording of the semester was yesterday

 I’ve only ever watched one zombie movie in my life, and, minus the whole ‘walking dead’ bit it was a teen romance (Warm Bodies), not horror. But I’ve had two zombie dreams in the past month. In the first, it was zombies merged with vampires: they ate brains, crowded together and had to avoid the light. I had to walk quickly to get to a safe room before the sunset, while they reached out to me from the shadows. The decay had not yet set into the city, but the cement was cold.

The second Hannah and I were walking around and occasionally I had to kill zombies by cracking their skulls open and jumbling their brains. It felt like…snapping a lobster claw when I pushed through the temple-area (I’ve eaten lobster once and won’t ever again – as Папа said, it felt like eating a giant cricket). One time I ripped the jaw off first, going through the roof of the mouth. I was afraid I would get infected, an accidental broken bone penetrating my skin. 

And then there was a house with five doors, each leading to another world. The house connected the five but I had to choose which one to live in before the house ceased to exist, and I with it. All the world had zombies in them, so there really wasn’t much choice.

where

七人の侍 (Seven Samurai 1954 Japanese) - the first week of the last year of college, day one through seven left me exhausted but optimistic: I can do this; I can take all that was good from last year and make it better. I am present I am here (I am not in Berlin I am not in Moscow I am not in Manhattan).

Die Blechtrommel (The Tin Drum 1979 German) - the second week I started re-started the movie club. I don’t think I could have eaten after that film but soon it was Yom Kippur and I was fasting anyway.

Soy Cuba (I am Cuba 1964 Soviet-Cuban in Spanish) - The Land The Land. Friday I approached the black car from which Hannah waved at me, parked in someone else’s driveway, bags ready. We drove past our destination and parked on an empty lot. We walked along the highway, past skipping silhouettes of deer, then up and through rows upon rows of pear trees. I untied the string and swung open the gate. The yellow moon was rising.

We felt up the trees in the dark, picking apples in the light of equinox eve. Hiding 60-70lbs of spoils in the bushes, we ran back to the car, feeling the pressure of imagined ski masks on our faces. We drove up and picked up our bags (apples, pears, quince) the tires grating against the gravel, the gas pedal pushed as Dean changed gears and said “I think we got away with it”. We threw our heads back and laughed.

The next night we were good citizens and went to Poughkeepsie to see Nina in a community theater rendition of The Children’s Hour. On the ride back Nina said that a lot of the cast members (of all ages) idealized Bard as a place where people are free. Be present be here be present be here.

Саша и Эвелина

on the 7th Kirill picked me up from Redhook at 5:30pm instead of 12 so we missed the wedding ceremony.
but
I heard that, when they kissed, someone let out butterflies that quickly spiraled up into the air.

Later, we released Chinese lanterns mimicking their flight.
The bonfire, the candles, the sparklers, the younger sister spinning wild a fire hoola hoop.

The chatter, the pastel dresses and freely flowing wine, the tables laden with food and the grass stamped out from late and later-night dancing, the glow of song in the air melding with the hum of sparks and smoke.
The smiles and fretful caring of the happy couple.

The morning after we cleaned up and left "joy to them, joy to them".

buy sugar

The morning that I left for Bard, Mama told me that I look like an Urban Outfitters model. Sima asked me what I was going to do after college and Потемкин tried to get attention but a belly rub was an unrealistic dream. Yosef promised to try to call me more, as he does every year (and we did talk for almost an hour last night). I got salt&vinegar chips at the rest stop and Papa got tea. 

the kitchen in this house is quite nice. we don't really socialize & we have a similar level of expected cleanliness.
functional.
the fact that I do not have any sugar, however, is not.

Rosh Hashanah is always a bit lukewarm at Bard (the undercooked tilapia, the doughy challah, the one bottle of saccharine Manischewitz for each table of ten) but Le'shana Tova. Yesterday I joined the tennis team, though I can only make it to 3/5 practices a week and have to miss some of the meets.

packing

I'm packing.
or
I ought to be packing.

Today and yesterday I collected items found on craigslist: a bed frame with a mattress and spring box (free), a small wooden table and chair (30$), a garment rack because I won't have a closet (5$).

I have packed

• all the kitchen things
• some of my cloths
• bathroom things

I have yet to pack

• the rest of my cloths (I sorted through some of my stuff my parents stuck in the basement. Most of it was useful, but I also found a toy I started making a few years ago, half stitched and half held with pins. It has been like that for years. headless.)
• shoes, belts, jewelry
• art supplies
• writing/reading (paper, pens, stamps, books. I tried meeting up with Leonid by MIT but our plans fell through twice. It occurred to me that we haven't had a real conversation face to face since two thanksgivings ago, but have kept up purely through letters. Freshman year he wrote with a typewriter, but now he uses a fountain pen.) 
• miscellaneous (sewing kit, flashlight, alarm clock ect.)

Tomorrow I will have moved to Redhook.

dyed dress

I started looking for housing at the start of the year, but bad luck seemed to want to be my friend. He followed me around, staying loyal as one person after another turned out to be unreliable. I finally shook him off Saturday - with just a week to move-in day. Hopefully he got the hint and won't be dropping by any time soon.
From what I've observed from afar (Bard is small, I've seen them before) - they are a very touchy-feely couple. They have a fondue pot and a waffle maker. Zoe wrote to me "There is also a small room off of the living room, which we are designating studio/creative space. You are free to utilize it for artsy things."Jono graduated last year with a chemistry degree and wants to become a nurse, but is currently working in one of the Bard offices.

I've been going to Walden Pond a lot, and finished reading Everything is Illuminated.
Yesterday, Yulka and I went to Watch City Brewery in Waltham. A year ago we went to the microbrewery and got food. The fare was good, but it demanded beer, so we decided we would go there again once we were legal. (check) 

I had a white dress (from my high school graduation. we all had to wear white, the boys all had identical white tuxedos).
Sasha said something about pastel for the wedding so...
blue fading into a teal tint at the bottom.

CC 2013

1. It occurred to me that I have spent a week of the summer with these people for 8 of the 9 past years. An imperfect track record of change.
2. We watched the meteor shower the first night. There were too many of us for tranquility but the Milky Way stretched out above and I haven’t seen that many stars in ages. (5 years ago I made a wish on a shooting star and it came true. I haven’t made one since).
3. Only four people in my age group were there the full week. Yulka and Valya had internships, Myron joined the army, Sasha was preparing for his wedding, Liza and Kirill had work. (Who will be here next year?)
4. The last night we were presented with three plays: Alice Through the Looking Glass, The Little Prince, Деревья Умирают Стоя (trees die standing).
5. We sang around the campfire late into the night (пять лет назад когда мы пели «выйду я на поле с конем» Даша сказала Илюши «нет, не любишь»).(five years ago we sang a song which contains the words “I love you Russia” to which Dasha said to Eloosha “no, you don’t”).
6. I watched Shimon for most of the week. He was tense from all the people and ran to me at 2am one night, in his underwear and barefoot. Five minutes after we were in our sleeping bags he was dreaming. 
   
7. 
   I feel no real connection to many people there but this is not surprising; the number hovers around 100. I had an interesting conversation with one adult one night when he drank more than usual. Noma and I named another caterpillar this year. Some conversations did not happen. 
8. Yosef had plans to swim everyday so that he could pass the swim test and join the crew team, but it was too cold to stay in the water for long. He passed the test anyway.
9. Made decorations for the plays, swam and attended the poetry club. Did yoga, worked the dinner-shift, and listened in on conversations. Collected firewood in the middle of the night, drank tea & not tea, celebrated birthdays.