Snow Queen

 

The best part about repeating the play I was in during the summer (Snow Queen) during the winter was this:
- I did, I think, do better this time. I also got a lift from rehearsal in a Tesla.
- Waking up the next morning, Veta asleep to one side of me, Liza asleep and snuggled up against my shoulder to the other, Eloosha not yet up in the room across the hall. And then a multi-course breakfast that turned into lunch while we remained seated.

wrap up

I was just watching stand-up on youtube with people, but have a hard time getting into it. The go-to explanation is that I'm too pc to laugh, but a lot of it was pretty inoffensive. Just boring. Or sad. Many jokes come from sorrow.
But I'm not a lost cause -- A few of the patients said about me "that one has a sense of humor".
I'll take it.

Welcome in the new year. Here is what happened in the last one (listing off for myself so I can start afresh?):

The next generation was in the second iteration of the Harms play from 2008. I talked to Eloosha, half asleep, after that, and to a half-awake Valya the next morning. Dew-covered thread connect sleeping moment to sleeping moment, new faces on an altered stage.

I went to the Goya exhibit with Max M. There was this beautiful print The Blind Guitarist and some paintings on ivory that had a really interesting effect.

bits of James Bond. The Manchurian Candidate (1962, USA, Frankenheimer); Print the Legend (2011, USA); Footnote (2011, Israel, Cedar); Mazerunner (2014, USA, Ball).

photo by Miriam E

ice swan feathers

a few weeks ago Mama and I went to see the show Bad Jews. The four actors were pretty good, and though the characters could be misread as caricaturish, I have met people exactly like each of those characters.
There is a Sabbath blessing that fathers do for their children; placing a hand on the head and saying a prayer. I've always liked that moment.
Mt. Washington with my father and his friend ended in a satisfied fatigue. We drove to New Hampshire and stayed the night in a motel, got up at 5, started climbing at 7. Near the top, the wind blew so hard I was afraid I would get blown off, and we couldn't see from one cairn to the next because of the fog. But it was beautiful; the wind had swept the moist air into ice formations, like frozen swan feathers. 

CC 2014

I wrote to Sorrel about camping this year, and she agreed that this is what it's like when you meet up with old friends: everything is exactly the same, yet different.

We did things, as usual - same people with a few variations, and the kids are growing. KVN, climbed in the trees of an adventure park, swam. We put on plays, played music, cooked, played games, attended classes, hugged, slept, stayed awake, drank, recited poetry. Part of the time I felt anxious like a crumpled piece of paper. Part of it I was as gleeful as a soon-to-expire spark of fire, singeing joyously against the cold summer night. Sometime I will be back again, but not to this place, not quite.

where

七人の侍 (Seven Samurai 1954 Japanese) - the first week of the last year of college, day one through seven left me exhausted but optimistic: I can do this; I can take all that was good from last year and make it better. I am present I am here (I am not in Berlin I am not in Moscow I am not in Manhattan).

Die Blechtrommel (The Tin Drum 1979 German) - the second week I started re-started the movie club. I don’t think I could have eaten after that film but soon it was Yom Kippur and I was fasting anyway.

Soy Cuba (I am Cuba 1964 Soviet-Cuban in Spanish) - The Land The Land. Friday I approached the black car from which Hannah waved at me, parked in someone else’s driveway, bags ready. We drove past our destination and parked on an empty lot. We walked along the highway, past skipping silhouettes of deer, then up and through rows upon rows of pear trees. I untied the string and swung open the gate. The yellow moon was rising.

We felt up the trees in the dark, picking apples in the light of equinox eve. Hiding 60-70lbs of spoils in the bushes, we ran back to the car, feeling the pressure of imagined ski masks on our faces. We drove up and picked up our bags (apples, pears, quince) the tires grating against the gravel, the gas pedal pushed as Dean changed gears and said “I think we got away with it”. We threw our heads back and laughed.

The next night we were good citizens and went to Poughkeepsie to see Nina in a community theater rendition of The Children’s Hour. On the ride back Nina said that a lot of the cast members (of all ages) idealized Bard as a place where people are free. Be present be here be present be here.

CC 2013

1. It occurred to me that I have spent a week of the summer with these people for 8 of the 9 past years. An imperfect track record of change.
2. We watched the meteor shower the first night. There were too many of us for tranquility but the Milky Way stretched out above and I haven’t seen that many stars in ages. (5 years ago I made a wish on a shooting star and it came true. I haven’t made one since).
3. Only four people in my age group were there the full week. Yulka and Valya had internships, Myron joined the army, Sasha was preparing for his wedding, Liza and Kirill had work. (Who will be here next year?)
4. The last night we were presented with three plays: Alice Through the Looking Glass, The Little Prince, Деревья Умирают Стоя (trees die standing).
5. We sang around the campfire late into the night (пять лет назад когда мы пели «выйду я на поле с конем» Даша сказала Илюши «нет, не любишь»).(five years ago we sang a song which contains the words “I love you Russia” to which Dasha said to Eloosha “no, you don’t”).
6. I watched Shimon for most of the week. He was tense from all the people and ran to me at 2am one night, in his underwear and barefoot. Five minutes after we were in our sleeping bags he was dreaming. 
   
7. 
   I feel no real connection to many people there but this is not surprising; the number hovers around 100. I had an interesting conversation with one adult one night when he drank more than usual. Noma and I named another caterpillar this year. Some conversations did not happen. 
8. Yosef had plans to swim everyday so that he could pass the swim test and join the crew team, but it was too cold to stay in the water for long. He passed the test anyway.
9. Made decorations for the plays, swam and attended the poetry club. Did yoga, worked the dinner-shift, and listened in on conversations. Collected firewood in the middle of the night, drank tea & not tea, celebrated birthdays.

Spiegel und Caesar

Friday I went down to Bard and stayed over at Amanda's place. Five of us went to dance in Spiegeltent which goes up every summer. There was a live band, about 10% high schoolers, and the rest was split between middle aged couples and Bard students, some recently graduated. We shared the dance floor well, though it took me a little bit of time to adjust back to recognizing so many faces of people who's names I don't know. (Today I saw a graduated Bard student on the platform with me; NYC shrunk a little).
The next morning Amanda and I made goat cheese and caramelized onion omelets with panfried toast.

Then I went back to Manhattan, changed, and rushed off to Brooklyn to see a Smith Street Stage play with Essie: Julius Caesar in Carroll Park. When the actors started running around yelling "Caesar is dead! Caesar is dead!" some of the kids standing by the playground stood around looking confused for a bit. Then they started speeding about like little daemons, proclaiming "dead! dead! dead!". A dog whined worriedly when Antony gave his impassioned speeches. Caesar and a couple others were played by women, the set was the park, the costumes were business suites. Essie and I watched the lightening bugs flicker.

Shakespeare in the Park

Sunday I woke up at seven and by nine I was waiting in line in Central Park. Almost four hours later, I had met the couple behind me (she was from the Philippines as of two years, he was from Israel as of thirteen) and had two free tickets to Shakespeare’s Comedy of Errors. Luisa and I met at eight, and were soon enjoying chips and lemonade as we watched a 1940s rendition at the Delacorte Theater.
                After that we headed to Amsterdam Ave, and wound up at Jake's Dilemma bar, reading excerpts from books in the back library (yes, this bar has a library – and beer pong). Louisa and I agreed we should meet up again; just as I’m starting to like this place, it seems like I’m about to leave. One month.

Apocalypse of Light

 Last night Amanda and I heard clicking, hitting the glass. I opened the window and looked down. “Oh sorry, I was throwing stones at the totally wrong window”. After that we went to the annual surrealist circus show. Hordes of people sat on the grass on the hill sloping down from manor. Our fellow students biked and did contact dancing naked and half-naked to the rhythms of strange music, fiery glows and stories about the Apocalypse of Light.

Today I went to an Orcapelicans concert (Bard a capella group) because Megan and a few seniors I know were singing.  Wednesday Britt came.

A week ago I had a dream I was in the Midwest. I could feel that I was far away from the ocean, I saw a view from a above and suddenly I came down and was in the car with Папа, on the way to pick up my brothers from someone’s house. Then I thought “where is Мама?” and suddenly remembered she was dead. It made me so sad I woke up. But then a few minutes later I was asleep again. I was back in the car, and it happened again. And again.

S is for

Сегодня перевода нет.

Sunday- Chamber singers performed Sucut locustus est and Suscepit Israel for dedication of the (now) Bito Hall in the new conservatory building.

At first I thought that “oh, singing for some rich guy who gave us money, at least we have a new building”. We did have to listen to a few pandering talks. And we do need the money; though (or because) we have a great academic and arts programs, not too many students go off to make money, and since it’s a non-profit, a lot (though not enough) goes to scholarships. Simply: we have no endowment.

But the guy who donated is László Z. Bitó, who came to the U.S. from Hungry as a refugee. First he was in the camp in Cleveland, but then he went to Bard for a English-learning program. Of the people there, two received scholarships to go to Bard College. He came and studied biology, in part because his English was still not strong enough to pursue a literature degree. After that he went to Columbia and has since then he has developed a medical cure for glaucoma and written a few successful books. Though watching people pander is still uncomfortable, at least he’s respectable to begin with.

This evening I went to a performance of The Bakkhai (or The Bacchae) as performed, translated and staged by Bard students. The initially set was this giant sheet of semi-transparent plastic, like a taut curtain. From behind it, you can see someone moving. With a knife, he cuts a straight opening in the sheet. The lights go out and for a moment nothing is to be seen. Then, you see him, torso through the plastic sheeting, lighter flickering in his hands, and a wild sexual gaze on his face. He is Dionysus.

When the scenes come that are not in Thebes but in the woods, the sheet drops, and a giant cloud of fog roles off the stage and you see that the stage is covered in a giant hill of dirt, and a fir tree is suspended upside down from the ceiling. Yes. The set design, some stage moments, costumes, lighting (and use of strobe lights) and music were all quite great.

Saturday- Farm Fest was Bard bands playing outside throughout the day. In the evening I went to a production of The Vagina Monologues. My neighbor directed it, and a few girls I know performed. Then: Hannah’s leek soup, stuffy Surrealist Circus show, and the cast party.

Sentimental- Friday I went to TBL and read a poem and took photos (I'll post links later when it's online). We smoked chocolaty hookah and drake tea and I fell asleep that night with a sadness in me. Some of my friends are finishing college this year- Did we have enough time? Of the people I hung out with last year- One went back home to Tibet. One moved to Jersey City and we still keep in touch. One went home to India. One moved from Florida to India. Britt never came back to start senior year.