Dark Snow

Tuesday I came back from skiing. Wednesday I went to see the Black Swan (Park Street, and not at all alone). We had burritos at Felipe's before the movie. I think it may have been the first rated-R movie I've seen in a theater.

(weird, they have a site).

I had to take the red line to the Porter Sq to catch the commuter rail home.
But I was very riled up from the movie, I guess. I'm impressionable, or hyper empathetic, or something. But my eyebrows where doing the same thing that Natalie Portman's were doing in the movie, and I missed the first subway, got on the 2nd one, realized it was green to BC, got off, walked back to Park Street, found the redline, got to the commuter rail...but was 7 minutes late. Used the pay phone for the first time in my life because my cellphone was broken, and called my dad to pick me up. Kicked a few sizable holes in the snowbank because I was angry with myself. Because how immature to get upset to an extent  that it impedes your functioning from emotions that aren't even really yours? plus I felt bad for asking Papa a ride at 1 am.

and CUT

I'm home!
making up for lost sleep and lost wasting-time time.
The conversations the last two weeks of college were only about finals and next semester classes, and unlike when I was back home, I couldn't come 'home' and talk about something else.
Adrienne pulled two all-nighters. During her last fysem class she was so sleep deprived that it was either fall asleep every five seconds (first half of class) or giggle at everything (second half of class). someone asked if she was high later. I had the following conversation with her (she was half asleep, I guess)
her-I'm twitching
me-where?
her-my back is twitching
me-happens, my eye twitches sometimes
her-but I'm asleep
me-you're asleep and we are having a conversation?
her-you're not real.
me-okay.
her-I mean, I don't mind if you're real, but you're not real.

she didn't exactly recall having this conversation later.

also, I got a haircut. There was an in between stage that was done over Thanksgiving by my dad, but it looked weird (as Andres said when he first saw it: hair, gone, 80's, 90's, somewhere in between). Innka cut it, she is awesome. Then she and my dad discussed the topology of my hair.
eah, my hair has topology.

Flickering Cold

It snowed on Saturday, and I recall hearing people making goat sounds outside my window. The power went out for the third time this year after dark. A bunch of us were at the Campus Center (crafting...). The generator was working, but the lights in the hall were firing off in succession. It seemed like...either a very strange disco with no dancing, or else people should have been panicking and running to bomb shelters, with sirens in the background. Instead, calm.
Yesterday I made latkes and went to Redhook with Margaret.
The evening was strange and Hannah, Will and I went for a walk. At Blithewood, there was a train passing by the Hudson, very slowly because of the dense fog. There was a movie effect: as if it was the start, and we were being filmed. Cold, silent, the overwhelming rumble of the train reflecting in the bay and hardly silhouetted by the moonlight.
(photo at Blithewood; Sam and Margaret)

Candy Canesssss

Relief (and sugar)!
I got into all the classes I applied for!
Printmaking I, Creative Non-Fiction Workshop, Heath Psychology, Chamber Singing Ensemble.
Still have to sign up for Fysem, but that's next week. I'm excited about the teachers as well the classes.
Thursdays are going to be crazy though:
Printmaking 10:10-1:10,
Non-Fiction 1:30-2:50,
Chamber 4:40-6:40.
But unless I get Fysem on Friday, I will have three-day weekends.

but before that...one essay, three exams, winter break and Citizen Science.

Caffeine

For a second I thought: maybe if I drank less caffeinated drinks they would actually affect me. maybe if I stopped drinking them for a month... and then I was like...wait, tea. never mind. not happening.
and then I realized it wasn't 9 anymore, but 12:30. oops.

sleep sleep sleep

Some Like It Very

I am supposed to find out by 9am tomorrow if I got into the classes I applied for. I've gotten into Creative Non-Fiction Workshop (via portfolio, and it's a pretty sought-after class, so ego boost (except that obviously I'm convinced that it was just luck and that I submitted the only two half-decent things I have ever written. But that's just me being me). One of the pieces I submitted was Anna de Paris, minus the last paragraph). Also going to take Health Psychology. Still waiting on Printmaking and the one-credit Chamber Choir. Fysem professor sign up is later. I keep fighting the urge to constantly check if it has stopped 'pending'. If I get denied, then I have to look for another class, and it's likely it won't be one I wanted to take >.<.
cowboy cookies (Margaret and Cat do it again :))

Last week I watched a couple movies with Cat and Margaret, Some Like It Hot, with Marilyn Monroe at Weis. I had also wanted to see Heathers ever since I had gotten snippets of it on TV. Since I wasn't supposed to have the cable plugged in, I kept taking out the wire when I heard my father's footsteps, and didn't actually know anything other than that I wanted to see it by the time it was over.
It was kinda conflicting, but also SO strange, and 80's.
I think it was Very.

and I cut both Cat's and Margarete's hair, successfully :)

Two more music concerts: another contemporaneous concert last week. It was a cross-over genre one, and I left during intermission because of work. Yesterday's concert was better: pieces by Bard composers (including Andres). It was two hours long, and so so worth the time. One of the last ones had the pianist use both the keys and the string. She opened the instrument up to be used like a harp. Plucked a string and went up and down playing it, changing the pitch. When I was lying in bed but not yet asleep, had dissonant (violin and viola?) playing in my head, but it stopped once I became more conscious of it.

really though, I want to cuddle.

Sweet Sounds, Tooth and Brothers

I went to a concert at 3-5 by the Bard Conservatory Orchestra.
They played Tchaikovsky's Romeo and Juliet, Stravinsky's Firebird Suite, Martinu's Oboe Concerto and Gershwin's Catfish Row.
The beginning of Firebird literally gave me goosebumps.
The concert was fantastic, especially the first two pieces.
Andres was one of the people who helped with composition.
I'm not sure what that means, actually.
There was also a very minimal amount of snow falling as we left the concert. Not enough to think about sledding, but still, it has hit 0°'s.
(upside-down cranberry muffins from a couple days ago, guess who made them (thank you Margaret and Cat :))
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Thanksgiving was very short. I didn't see as much as I would have liked to of my family or my friends. I arrived at 8, ate, and then went to bed.
First day back I went on the roof (we are getting a new one, the old one was leaking), walked in the forest by my house. In the evening I went to Eloosha's for the beginning of the annual Thanksgiving craziness. Went to bed around 3:30 am, but I fell asleep earlier.
Last year I stayed up until 8:30 am.
Making breakfast in the morning is fun. Eloosha fried queso blanco and toasted massive amounts of bagels.
We went to the Harvard Museum of Natural History. I had seen the taxidermy before, but had never looked at the glass flower exhibit. The entire museum was packed.
Dried bats are strange. There was one fruit bat with little tubes coming out of its nose. It was smiling. Mouth full of teeth. There were quite a few different kinds, and they made me think of strange faeries. Transparent wings and tiny furry faces, crucified but still staring intently, hung by the sloths and ant-eaters, frozen above the hedgehogs. Not scary, just strange.
Some of us walked around Harvard later. Went to Cafe Pamplona, drank strange latte's and talked about literature that is released postmortem, admired the pink streaked sky, enjoyed each others company.
At night we celebrated Yulka's dad's birthday, serenading him with parodies of songs we have heard a million times.
Bed: 4:30am.
We played volleyball/football (em..soccer) from noon until it started to get a little darker, and Sasha made a black and white silent film of people going down a hill in sleeping bags, moving like worms down the slope, inching over each other and struggling to move without limbs. 'Twas funny :)

It was strange to be back. I forgot that Eloosha has the ability to judge my mood/tiredness level based on how speed/elaborateness of my speech.
But being back was also not as... glory-filled as I imagined. I kept having thoughts of aging, imagining all of us middle-aged. And I felt that I was missing something, probably time. I want to see everybody again in a proper time span.

I got a letter from Osya a couple days ago, which made my day :)
It had a lot of little drawings (one doodle from Sima), a paper airplane, and an origami cup, which contained little bits of paper with descriptor words on it, like "awesome" and "artist".
can you see why I miss them?