20 teeth 6 letters

I've been coming up to make sure Sima's tooth is still there when he goes to bed: two days ago I tickled him, yesterday I convinced him to growl at me like a lion.

yesterday got six pieces of mail: one asking for money, one returning my old US passport, one postcard, and three letters. My day was made.

twentysomethings

Boston: Yulka and her boyfriend. We ate brunch at Church, and then
drank mimosas on the esplanade, watching the rollerbladers, dogs, their walkers, and bikers pass. Laughed at being twentysomethings in the middle of a summer day.

Tooth Fairy

Sima has a loose tooth. He told me not to tell Mama when it falls out - so that he could check if the tooth-fairy is real.
When I told Mama (in front of him) that he has a loose tooth he squinted at me and smiled distrustingly. The main reason he believes in the tooth-fairy (as he told me a few months ago) is that he always gets a golden dollar coin under his pillow "and nobody has that many dollar coins". Similarly, he still believes in Father Frost (Ded' Moroz) because he got a watch from him last New Years, and Mama and Papa knew that he already had a watch.

I watched the Germany-Argentina game, grow more cynical than ever when I read the news, and met up with Adrienne in Central Square when she visited from Vermont.

the rain

I want to go outside because the downpour smells warm through my window. The trees are relishing the wind and the lightning is tearing the thunder asunder.


Went to Baxter State Park with my family for the fourth of July weekend but the tornado made us too miserable to stay a third night. We canoed in the rain and walked quickly in a vain attempt to escape the gnats and mosquitoes (they do so relish our blood).

The prodigal daughter has returned to write again.

movies: Cabare (1972, USA), Blade Runner (1982, USA), F for Fake (1973, France, in English), Magnolia (1999, USA).

nicely

a little over I week ago I wrote to Eloosha "currently I just feel like I'm finishing another year and it's taking longer than usual - next September I won't be coming back but that hasn't sunk in yet. I've had two dreams involving housing for next year & dorms & subletting in the area" and he concurred.
last night I dremt someone offered me to go to Australia for a conference, so I guess I just want to leave.

I hung out with Max, he leaves for a road trip tomorrow (plane to Kansas, car from there possibly to Alaska). We drank white russians in the middle of the day while watching an episode of the Twilight Zone. Swung from hammocks and he told me that he recently attended the most posh and sleazy event of his life: black tie boxing at the Harvard club. Later that night, he and his brother listened to a a homeless man talk about his aspirations to get a famous person's skull and turn it into a bong.
After that I came home and made dinner and we celebrated Papa's birthday, and I can safely say that today was a day spent nicely.

undergraduated

• when we were packing up my room, Papa stepped on a party popper. A little of the curled up confetti tumbled out, and I put it in the trash bin with other scraps of forgettable memories.
• after the ceremony there was a bbq at Blithewood. The sky was the clearest I've ever seen it. Looking at the river and the mountains beyond felt like looking through a stereoscope: everything was too three dimensional, each plane flattening in the saturation of detail. A little after nine, the fireworks started. We lay on a blanket, the dragon spirits flickering overhead. With each explosion came a delayed sound, which in turn rolled up against the Catskills and echoed over the Hudson river and back into the valley. I remembered that my first memory was from not wanting to fall asleep while watching the fourth of July fireworks at Brandeis (I was two)
• the robes are made of 100% polyester. I saw people that I thought had graduated, or dropped out - but no, there they were, lining up for the procession, sitting through Nancy Pelosi's campaign speech, shaking president Botstein's hand and receiving their diploma. Walking out and trying to find relatives and friends.Taking photos, smiling.
• I didn't get to say good bye to everyone. I bumped into Shinno and Ben there, (Shinno's going to Pratt!) and met Kelsey's brother. Sorrel Kelsey Hannah and I went to a bon fire at the community garden. When we arrived it was filled with alums and everyone seemed content and happier than we are now, and I chatted with some '09-er for a bit and Jo and others came. We waited for the shuttle which was an hour late, with Jack and Will and Steven and Jeff. Those were the partings. 
• there are other endings. 

emerald leaves

The emerald leaves are like a latent desire. Autumn comes and the leaves fall shivering in the wind, until the trees stand naked, branches arched achingly against the sky. The trees' heart beats slow and they hold the weight of snow and break under the burden of ice and we want but know not what. And then spring comes, and first the flowers bloom, and then the leaves begin. Tentatively, limp translucent green and fuzzy curls. We say "I had forgotten that trees have leaves, but they do and Oh! Oh! that is what I wanted all along". 


partings are beginning. I swung with Amanda in a hammock one late evening before going down to the waterfall, sang at Baccalaureate yesterday, which was followed by senior dinner. Had a meeting with a clinical professor for an hour and half, hoping for words of wisdom, and attended a bonfire/bbq at the co-op. Psychology luncheon and surrealist circus.

campus is mostly empty and almost all the students left are seniors -- feels nothing like l&t. It's more or less the same group, at least by name, as the ones who entered freshman year three weeks before the rest of the school had arrived. Oh! Oh! We cannot and will not go back.