Halloween: ¼

On the last Friday of October, Hannah and I went for a long walk through Red Hook. The leaves were crisp under our feet, and the wild cherries were covered in dew. We ate apple raspberry pie with whipped cream at the pie shop – one of the girls who works there is beautiful. On Saturday, my housemates threw a Halloween party --I saw half of “The Happening” while most of their guests played some board game. 

One night instead of working I listened to Eloosha read and ramble on his radio show.

Three nights ago I had a dream in which ten of my teeth fell out, and carried them around worried they would get lost – though many people have that dream. That wasn’t the central point. What had happened was a man had returned to my town and it was causing me to remember that, around age 11 or 12, I had assisted him in establishing a pattern of behavior in a boy age 15 or so. This helped the man to lure and murder the boy, and then I assisted him in covering it up. Now 21, with the man hanging around town again, the repressed memories were coming back up. I was trying to figure out what had really happened then, and how to tell the police. At first I thought perhaps it doesn’t matter, but then I realized that, while it wouldn’t change that the boy was dead, it would bring closure to the family, since they still didn’t know anything so many years later. I was worried about being arrested as an accomplice, and also very confused about how, even though I had been only 12, I had allowed myself to do anything that would lead to someone being in pain and death. And furthermore, the man was hanging around me (while my teeth were falling out) and I didn’t want him to know what I was thinking, fearing that he would kill me as well.