Studio Arts Major

2:20 AM-- (a great time to write)
just finished hanging my work for my moderation board tomorrow-today. All that work does sum up: it takes up three walls, much more than it does all rolled up, one piece inside the other inside another.
my feet: the balls of my feet, the heal, and less so (oddly) the arch, cried with every step I took on my walk back to my room. As I passed Robins, someone was having sex (she was an "oh God"-er)
Last night I had a dream that I was walking and turned around and there was an old man behind me and he took this as an invitation and I kept running from him and was afraid he was going to rape me. I woke up around six am because I'm anxious about tomorrow. Life, Death, and everything in between.

11:20 PM--(a great time to write, not in a sarcastic way)
I woke up at 7am and then went to eat around nine. One of the girls sitting next to me said "I don't eat carbs. Well, I do, but only good carbs, like, organic" and I just had to leave. Jeff (my painting prof) looked at my work and said "you're going to do great" because I was clearly anxious.
The board consisted of my adviser Laura Battle, Kristen Lucas, and Ken Buhler. They asked a lot of questions. Why do I like painting. What do I see in my work. Why. Why. How. Why. What. Why. Where?
It was scary.  I got some good things out of it, mostly from Ken Buhler.
Positive: I was able to carry things I learned in one class over to other classes (i.e. drawing to painting) and said "I can congratulate you on that"
Negative: Just how confused I felt and how confused I am about what to do next, what I want, and that I want to do everything.
Mixed: "I see talent and I see skill but I don't see what you want to do next"
"you wrote in your paper, almost apologetically, that you do not do more of the conceptual stuff, and you don't have to be apologetic about it"
Useful: "Some people feel for their senior project they have to do something totally different than what they did before. And you don't have to do that"
And they talked about working slow versus working fast. And what classes to possibly take.
Laura came up to me after and said "we are looking at that course list"

I knew I was in the green when Laura said "second semester of junior year is great. You don't have to worry about moderation, and you don't have to worry about senior project- well, you're moderating late but"

So I moderated! I'm officially studying both psychology and studio art.

Jeff asked me how I was going to reward myself. I said "I'm going to sleep" and he responded "I'm a firm believer in gifts"